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Dommesandsubs.com Upgrade

New D/s upgrade is starting this afternoon/evening. While I don't anticipate a huge amount of downtime, there will definitely be some sporadic outages and random errors here and there as I try to get everything configured properly. I assume with a number of folks hanging with family/friends over the next several days it is the ideal time to have things awry but just wanted to post a little warning for those who may not be up to date on the progress/change of all things on the site. Hit me on YM if necessary (the_vilified_one)

"Dommes" can be losers too....

A quick repost of my original forum thread here:
http://dommesandsubs.com/forums/display_topic/id_1215/Adding-Dommes-to-the-Loser-List/

i may be going out on a limb here and owe some individual "Dommes" a huge apology, but a preponderence of the evidence holds in a civil court, i think it is adequate as a barometer for "outing" losers on Dommesandsubs.com:

The evidence:


What you will notice in the above is a little search of the member database I did when I was asked to do a little checking of the IPs of a member for Miss V. In doing so I also saw results returned for one "Domme" with an email that reads "onorato.matt@gmail.com" and it piqued my interest to dig a little more. Searching that IP, I found three "Dommes" registered to it, all unverified, and two with similar "Matt Onorato" emails. Oooo... this is getting rich....

When I took and plugged the IP into a location service I found these Dommes all joining and logging in from Boulder CO. Then a quick Google or two lead me to profiles for Matt Onorato on PeekYou (a 22 year old male from Boulder) and Facebook (also from Boulder but no details as I didn't friend him.) The IP info and search results are highlighted below.



If I have made a mistake and any of the Three Dommes mentioned would like to arrange to verify with me or Vina please feel free to let me know and I'll make an appropriate apology. Otherwise, fair warning to the subbies, exercise caution when dealing with unverified Dommes/Members.
Seriously... I really wonder how some people continue to manage the difficulty of breathing and walking at once with the sheer stupidity I encounter on a daily basis... after another adventure attempting to run errands and get some modicum of the mundane accomplished in my world today... all I ended up was pissed off, annoyed with everything/one, and really damn ready to beat the living shit outta something.... but being that I already punched through my heavy bag... my drumsticks are broken from my last anger management session.. and I don't have the spare change to cover the replacement costs in breaking anything else....I guess I'm gonna stick with a long fucking bash fest of bitching about random ass shit on LJ...

So.. in that vein... discount therapy a la carte....

Fuck the Post Office... lets start with that... their uber-cluster-fucked approach to running a business is the most bastardized and retardedly clumsy implementation of efficiency I have ever seen... the fact that they operate nearly every year in the RED because they cannot control "paper and printing costs" only further speaks to their ineptitude... so when I went in a few weeks back to drop some packages and renew my PO Box, I was dumbfounded to learn they had canceled it and returned all the mail to the various senders...

And well, what might have caused this you ask? Turns out dear friends, I was 17 days late on paying the quarterly invoice... it was due Oct 31 and I happened to make my bi-monthly jaunt to the PO a few days past the 14 day cutoff for renewal... now mind you, I'd usually be happy to shoulder at least a portion of the blame when I am late paying something... but let's look at the facts here and see how the general stupidity and inefficiency of the Post Office operating procedures did much more to cause this headache than any omission on my part...

Normal businesses invoice you when a payment is due... or in lieu of that... they offer you the ability to set up auto withdrawal so you never miss a due date... generally speaking... with "normal businesses" my payments are prompt and not cause for concern...

But how about the PO? Well... they have a really nifty system or placing a small postcard sized reminder in your PO Box about 30 days prior to renewal telling you to stop by the counter and pay... they don't offer a way to pop online and pay... or a convenient form to fill in your CC number that you can leave in a drop box... hell, these idiots don't even send a fucking mailed invoice despite the fact they operate the national mail system itself.... what a bunch of fucking asshats... no functional invoice or payment system... nope... just a postcard telling you to go wait in line like the rest of Joe Public...

And as pissed as the above makes me... I was even more livid at these clowns because on my last renewal they had me redocument all my information to update their database. I had to provide all my info, all my business info, all the licenses, DBAs, proof of address, and all sorts of other bullshit... even a current cell and land line as well as an email and all sorts of other things they have no need for... and the proof they don't fucking need it you ask... WELL... because if they did... then their god damn bureaucratic bitch-ass selves would have had the decency to call me or drop a fucking email as a reminder I was past due instead of canceling and returning the mail on a BUSINESS PO BOX that I have had for over six years... I mean what a huge pain in the ass...now every client who sent me a check, and every payout from affiliate programs, ad revenues, and whatever else, is all on the way back to sender... so I have to try and fucking remember all the damn things that are out and then get in touch with each and deal with that bullshit... all because the ass clowns spending all day playing butt darts at the Post Office didn't realize using a normal modern invoicing or payment system is way more fucking convenient for everyone than a stupid reminder in the box itself...

Fuck you post office... I hate you... I hate your stupid lines... I hate your inefficiency... and I fucking hate that you can't come up with a stamp price that stays the same for more than three months... FUCK YOU.... DIE...

How about some more recent postal hate...??? This from my visit today...

Because of the clusterfuck of them killing my PO Box, all the packages I sent out all over the place prior to knowing it was dead now have an invalid return address... I considered just reopening the box but decided against it due to how pissed off I got at the whole damn circus... I prolly would have just done so if it was the normal $40/quarter, but this time they wanted an additional $45 for a lock change fee that they assured me I made necessary with my wildly late payment... whatever...

So I told 'em I'd rather pay more at the UPS store and get a nominal amount of customer service than jump through the bureaucratic bullshit of the post office... and then for the zinger I added a lovely, "because even after I gave you every damn piece of contact information I have you still decided to give me a nice hard ass raping by returning a month's worth of income to sender instead of using any of that info you demanded to get in touch with me before screwing me..."

Oddly, I don't think they got my humor...

So with it confirmed a few packages have been returned and on the way back to a box I no longer own, the only way for me to retrieve them is to fill out a change of address and wait in line at the post office to plead with them to give me the items returned prior to filing the change of addy....

And thus, I find myself at the PO today... I look for the change of addy form only to find they are completely out and instead have a little sign encouraging me to change my address online... ok.. fine... will do that once I get back home...

Now I hit the "Parcels Line" to see if any of the packages have already been returned and if I can claim them... I'm behind two other people... after 3-4 minutes one of the brilliant individuals working behind the counter informs the lady at the front of the line that the Parcel Line isn't open on weekends... What the fuck? Why the hell not... don't most people have weekends off moreso than weekdays? Wouldn't that logically mean that more people would be free to use the Parcel Line on the only damn day it isn't open? Idiots.

But Ms. Brilliant Counterlady assures us that we can wait in the 100 person deep line that snakes completely down the hall well past where the doors enter the damn PO.... uh-huh... three morons behind the counter... 100 idiots in line.. and I DON'T HAVE ALL FUCKING DAY SHIT HEAD.....

When you see the type of scheduling and number of employees versus customers... any wonder why I never waited in line to get that PO Box paid the few times I was there in Oct?

Ugh...

So I head home... Hit the Internet... USPS.com... Change of address... are you fucking kidding... I have to fill out this fucking form multiple times.. one for each individual and each business... so I have 4 businesses going there... myself, my little brother... and fuck Iif I don't hat the PO once again online... whatever... start the form.. page one... two... and on page three... please input credit card so we can validate your identity and address... "And remember, your billing address for the credit card must match your current address or your forwarding address..."

Well ain't that swell Sherlock... my billing address is an online billpay service that scans my shit in and has it real nice and easy for me to pay... so my billing address is somewhere in South Dakota and not at all the same as either address... now I can't even change the fucking addy without going back to the damn mess of a zoo at the PO and finding someone to beat over the head to get the old school paper form to do so manually....

FUCK....

And people question why I am not sold on government health care.... Bwahahahahahahah....

Uh huh.... only thing the government has ever been efficient at is killing brown people when they need to distract attention from something unflattering... anyway... skipping my jaded libertarian con cynicism worldview...

Lemme just get the remainder of my lil hate laundry list off my chest now that I have already started on this tirade...

Who the hell prices soda? And is he a Post Office employee?

Why the fuck can't I get my usual deal of 1 liter bottles of Diet Dew at the dandy 2 for $3 price anywhere anymore... my local "dealer" had it all summer long and most of the fall and still offers all Pepsi products at that price but has replaced Diet Dew with Crush...

Fuck Crush... it's god damn carbonated orange sugar water... buy some Koolaid and mix it with soda instead and gimme back my DD bitches....

But wait, I can still buy my Delicious Diet Dew in 20 oz bottles for $1.59 each... ummm... so while every other asshole gets to enjoy his favorite Pepsi beverage at 2 liters for $3... I again get fucked and pay an extra $0.20 for 1/3 less product???? Nah, bullshit... fuck you on principle alone... I'll check a different joint....

Next place has the 1 liter bottles at $1.99 each... but 2 liter bottles at 2 for $3... what the fuck..? I like the damn one liters because they have the big opening at the top... who the fuck knows why but just my preference... so I can pay $4 to get the two one liter bottles I want... or $3 to have 4 liters of soda... fuckers...

Stop dicking me around because you know I'm not going to pay more money for less product EVER...

And this process repeats indefinitely until I finally stumble into a shitty little dump of a gas station that has things priced "normally"... 20 oz at $1.49... 1 liter at 1.69 and 2 liter at 1.99... no 2-fers,or other bogus bullshit to piss me off... so I buy my damn sodas and finally get on my way....

Next...

Why the fuck is the Chase bank I went to today in Alliante (the uppity master planned community) not strapped with all the Superman Glass and BulletProof This and That which now adorns the bank I usually visit closer to home? I don't exactly live in the ghetto and while the bank shares a lot with WalMart I'm thinking the disparity an interesting observation...

Oh... and by the way....

Please NEVER EVER ask me a fucking thing about a celebrity if it doesn't involve their role in some movie you think I might have seen... I do not give a flying fuck about Rihanna's issues, Gaga's fetish wear, or any other ass clown's personal issues outside of my own, my friends, and my families... and if you are one of the asshats that reads People and lives on E! or any of that other inane bullshit you need to find a more productive fucking hobby...

Unless you are close personal friends with whoever, or have some business interest that warrants keeping an eye on shit, none of the fucking random matters at all.... Who X is fucking and why Z is an asshole is of as much concern to us "normal people" as the grade some little retard got on his spelling test yesterday at Lincoln Elementary... uh-huh... point made... you don't care about that and you shouldn't... you have no vested interest... and you have no fucking interest in what the, or who the, or anything else about celebrities, athletes, or other notable figures you don't know personally.... they aren't factors in any substantive part of your life so stop yammering on about them and shut the fuck up already... only absolute fucking dolt losers and morons with nothing going on in their lives would sit and gossip about the lives of other people they HAVE NEVER EVEN FUCKING MET as a regular daily hobby....

Hmmmmm.... what else...

Windows sucks ass. How the fuck can I do a full restore on a working computer and then have a corrupt boot.ini? Fuck your stupid piece of shit OS and using a command prompt to fix shit that should AUTO RESTORE in the first god damn place. Ain't that the point of AUTO RESTORE? Stupid cock sucking motherfuckers.....

Next...

How the hell can you not drive the speed limit. They don't post 45 so you can look at the sign and drive 20 you fucking retard. If I wouldn't get caught I'd summarily execute you for impeding my progress and being a burden on society. Die.

Next...

Speaking of driving, the individual charged with coordinating the traffic lights in this town needs hung upside down by his testicles. One fucking light... wait 4 minutes for every permutation to go before I get to drive... Then stop again 200 yards up the fucking road. Are you kidding me you fucking moron? Get a fucking clue. It can't be this hard to sync traffic lights. Stop using my tax dollars to chase pot heads and fix the god damn shit I use asshat.

Next...

And since I'm on the damn topic... what the fuck is up with the stupid left on green arrow only? Am I really not capable of looking at traffic and deciding on my own if I can safely make a turn? Just because some dunderfuck got T-Boned years ago turning in front of a semi doesn't mean I want to sit around for 4 minutes at 3AM waiting to have an "arrow" to turn... Fuck you.

I choose to be a lawbreaker every fucking time on that one. I will not listen to rules that make no god damn sense save to waste my time and drive me bat shit nuts. If there isn't traffic coming, fuck your arrow bitch... I'll go when I damn well feel like it...

Next...

On an aside, can we kill whatever stupid hillbilly redneck fuckup is responsible for daylight savings time? At 5AM I have light through my window waking me the fuck up but by 6PM it is pitch fucking black out. UMmmmmm.... Hello.... McFLY..... anyone home.... McFLY...

No one gets up at 5AM and gives a fuck about sunlight. Anyone that does is in a minority smaller than intellectuals in government. Leave my fucking clock alone asshole and let me have some sun past 6PM at night ya douche.....

What the fuck else... who knows... I think that's adequate for now.... I'll go breath some and get back to productivity.... whew....

Have a nice day kids,

VFD
I find it terribly painful how little I can say when I have so many words I want to share. My silence is forced by the rules of this game that is drawn in such a way that the result is known before the die is cast. But my refusal to adhere to the constructs will do nothing but destroy all I have accumulated to date. So do I set about lighting the blaze that will invariably be my swan song, or bite my tongue forever more and watch as the blackness inside rots what remains untainted.
Preface:
Sometimes shit pisses me the fuck off.  In those instances, I find it more productive and less illegal to write a little blogitty-blog than to kill nearby individuals or scream loudly about my displeasure in public causing all sorts of havoc.  Either way, this blog is prolly among my most inane, but its for my own sanity and as such, moderately necessary.  Read if you like, but be forewarned, it will likely make you "more dumber-er" for reading....

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Why in the fuck is some shit so convoluted and retarded> Seriously? Who in the god damn world needs 4 million 332 thousand 118 variations of toilet paper?  Why is I can go to the everyday big box and I only have a few nominal choices for books, magazines, music, art, or even simple housewares, linens, and things I might actually like a bit of choice regarding, but when it comes to how I'm going to finish up my business I'm inundated with so many choices I feel like a Steinbrenner during free agency?

Seriously, I was so annoyed today I took mental notes and came home only to verify my suspicions.  And for the sake of brevity I'll only go with one brand as all these fucktards do the same shit in differing degrees.  So, get this, Target offers Charmin in the following varieties:

Charmin Regular
Charmin Big
Charmin Giant
Charmin Mega


But please, realize these aren't to be confused with:

Charmin Ultra
Charmin Big Ultra
Charmin Giant Ultra
Charmin Mega Ultra


And further, each of these is offered in differing roll quantities, in various stitch and quilt patterns, and all sorts of other "shit" that only the most Martha Stewart motherfucker would ever care about.  But here's my issue.  I'm a fucking nerd and I hate overpaying for shit, but I need a god damn calculator, an abacus, and a few Asian girls to operate it all to tell what the fuck it the best deal overall.  I can look at a 20 oz soda for $1.50 and know that it is a bad deal compared to a 2 liter for $1.25.  I can compare chips, and veggies, and all sorts of things in simple quantities and portion sizes that are directly correlational to one another.  A 16 ounce Gatorade is HALF the size of a 32 ouncer.  If it cost more than 50% of what the big one costs, I save per ounce buying the large one.....

Woooo hooooo..... simple fucking math makes boys 10+ years outta college hella happy.

But no.... not toilet paper you fuckers.... they don't believe in fucking simple.... they have some new-fangled-fuzzy-math-pythagorean-theorem for finding the hypotenuse of shit tickets.... (and yeah, I'm the first fucker ever to use Pythagorean Theorem and Shit tickets in the same sentence... top that bitches...)

What is a big roll you ask.... well it is 2 regular rolls.... and a giant is 2.5.... and the mega is 4.... and well, that ain't too damn awful....  but WAIT.... you forgot the ULTRA.... ha ha ha ha ha ha..... see.... an Ultra roll is just about 58% the "size" (when
measured by length) of the regular equivalent.... BUT.... it is DOUBLE QUILTED...... Woooooooofucking hoooo.....

So.... let's say 60% as that is prolly a little easier....  then by size, we have this:

Ultra Roll
Regular Roll
Big Ultra
Giant Ultra
Big Regular
Mega Ultra
Giant Regular
Mega Regular

But wait.... lets make it more complicated.... we'll only offer rolls in retarded multiples of 3 or 4 but never the same quantity from one to the next.... so..... in your head.... figure out which is more bang for your "butt"

18 Regular Rolls @ $13.89
12 Big Ultra Rolls @ $16.29
6 Mega Ultra  @ $12.69
4 Giant Regular @ $7.99

Oooooo.... and now simply multiply the squares per roll by the rolls total and assign a coefficient for the value you assign to double quilting and factor in the pricing variables..... and then lets talk about....

Oh fuck you....

How hard is it to buy fucking TP??????????  REALLY?  You have to put this shit out in this many variations?  But I can't find a Full Screen version of Crank High Voltage??????

Assholes....

Oh... and for those giving a fuck and scratching their noggin.... 18 Regular rolls gives you 2250 lil poo squares, while 12 big ultra gives you 2400, 6 mega ultra is 2400, and 4 giant regular is 1760.  Uh-huh.... you can divide and factor your quilting coefficient while I just grab whatever has the lowest price and spend my time writing a blog rather than standing in Target looking at fucking poo paper trying to discern my cost per square.... christ.... even the little fuckers on those weird late night ESPN Ocho "Math Bee's" would be stumped with this crap..... (Fuck I love all the terrible puns available for this retardation...)

Yeah... so I'm almost done for now... but one last stupid market thing... why the fuck can't I buy "diced tomatoes" in a can anymore?  My local bastardized market which now thinks itself some faux-organic-green-farmers-coop only sells Diced Fire Roasted Tomatoes and Diced Tomatoes with Jalapeno and Onion and Diced Italian Style Tomatoes or Diced Tomatoes with Garlic and Oregano, or some other convoluted nonsense.

HEY FUCKTARD..... the hard part isn't adding some oregano after... I can shake my spice jar over the tomatoes very fucking easily.... never had a problem throwing in some minced garlic either..... but I do have a problem with chopping up 4-6 pounds of tomatoes to make a stew or veggie stock I need.... I can season it myself, but nah, you fuckups have to give me preseasoned tomatoes.... fuck off....  can you give me back the god damn simple shit and stop fucking making everything some variety of gay ass over marketed lameness...  or hell, maybe bring me some Mega Ultra Diced Italian Giant Big Tomatoes.... fucking asshats...

Someday maybe.....

SIMPLE. FUNCTIONAL. BASIC.

Sad unseasoned tomatoes and easy to understand TP are high on my list of wishes for a brighter future.....

...............

Carry on......



 



Nov. 1st, 2009

The darkness permeates my being.  I feel my calm pushed aside as the panic of irrationality takes hold. 

What if?

But how about?

No... I'm sure that....

And it builds, and metastasizes, and conquers the whole, until I am no longer a collected and measured sentient being, but a shell of life all consumed by the maelstrom of thoughts ravaging my mind.  A wildfire dances across the desolate wasteland that I have allowed to become the fuel for this destruction.  And I think with a brain beleaguered.  My mind a muddled mess as I search inchoate memories and dichotomous recollections. 

I cannot piece together the whole.  I no longer see the pieces.  The fractured glass of the frame which once held remembrance so clearly is littered about.  I grasp for that I cannot hold.  I chase allusions.  Illusions mask my every determination and the concrete is paved over with the anarchy of abstract. 

And I sit lost in the nothingness that is my world.  Trapped inside the prison of my own head.  Searching for answers where none can be found.  And I suffer the madness.  And I drink of the poison.  And I lament the beast I have become. 

But it is mine.  And that is of which I can say little else. 

Losers in Action. Random Rant #1

"Uhhhhh......" she craned her neck as she spun around to deliver the message....

Shoulders slightly askew to indicate the disgust and frustration with which she intended to make her point...

"...did you not hear me....." The question obviously rhetorical as she had no interest in the answer....

Her pause could only have been for effect because after the query the silence was much longer than necessary....

"............... ..............." The pause lingered ".......... IIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiii said SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Ufffffffffff....uckkkkkkkk...grrrrrrnnnnn....." she made a half groan cum snarl as she spun back to her original posture before this portion of dialog began.....

I stood 10 feet away at the "Self-check" in a local market where I pick up my tasty Diet Dew and some grub to gnarl on each day.  If she had been talking to me this dialog might have been comical, but the above is "Breeder Woman A" (for lack of a better descriptor) scolding "Breeded Baby D" (what appeared to be the youngest of four kidlets @ the market making a bit of a noise while strapped into the cart).

I shrugged and went about my purchase thinking fuck are people morons.

This Breeder has the gall to pop out four spawn and drags them to the market with her on Sunday morning despite her absolute lack of parenting skills... Had she been even a moderately competent adult she might have been able to tend to four rugrats in a busy market... but instead the kid-things not locked into the shopping cart went up and down nearby aisles grabbing assorted goodies and candy to try and add to the purchase and making claims of why it was important that mommy buys them some pack of trading cards that are the, "new ones MMMMmmmoooooooooommmmmmmmm..... cccc'mmmooonnnn, puhhh-leeassssseeeeee"

Brilliance.  And this was Smith's.  This is Good Parent Central.  Fuck me sideways with stupidity if I have to look at the morons who breed and wander about WalMart.  We don't need government health care, at least 90% of the country's problems would be solved with my campaign for...

"Free Sterilization with any Flu Shot!"

...at every local Big Box.  Market it as a limited time offer and watch the retards line up.  

"This week only, get your "No Spunk Seed Breed Shot" with the purchase of a flu vaccine at regular price!"

Open at midnight like all the big movies to convince the herd this is important shit they need to do before anyone else....

Whatever.  Tangent. Apologies.

Point being.  This woman was a fucking idiot and she's exactly the type to get all indignant on my ass when we cross paths at some business mixer down the road.  I'll mention a sliver of my "freak" and indicate I have built a fetish website or something with adult themes and Breeder Bitch turns into Mother Mary invoking all sorts of God-Gibberish about how I am ruining the kids of the world.  The brain trust that takes the time to be super poignant in explaining "Shut the hell up" to a kid that doesn't understand language is calling me out for harming children... damn do I love the refusal of folks to look in the fucking mirror first.  

So hard not to feel the parallel experience and empathy for my contemporaries.  I mean, isn't it so easy to understand the need to yell incredulously at your spawn because it makes noise you don't enjoy?  I  do my part and try to help out by telling the little bastards the same when mommy shuns responsibility to do so, but no one affords me the empathy the parents get.  Weird.

Yeah, I got no ending for this piece but c'mon people.  I chose not to breed because I was not ready to surrender the freedom I have to be a complete asshole and fucking prick should I get the need to scratch that itch.  This dumb baby factory had no problem banging out four of these things and has the smarts to play yell at baby while in full public view in a market.  It makes me wonder exactly how much further Super-Mom takes her comments when people aren't looking.  Yet it's people like me and my kind hurting kids with the fact I let a couple Asian girls kick my ass from time to time.  

Yeah poptart, and it is steroids in sports that are responsible for the decline of the American auto industry.  What, you don't see the correlation?  Well... yeah... because there fucking isn't one.  Maybe anyone prone to breeding beyond their capacity to raise, nurture, and love a child they bring into the world should see the loser blog below and find a few heavy duty tarps, some duct tape, and a high powered firearm with strawberry flavored bullets....

Ok.  Therapy over.  Off my soapbox.  Send an invoice.  

You cant write if you cant relate...

This is in response to this Kali Atrox blog. It was originally a comment but went a bit long so I decided to further expand it and post it as a blog itself.
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Losers are everywhere. Failure is more common than success. Whether you paste a Big D or a little s next to your name makes no damn difference when it comes to an objective and measurable determination of whether you are a loser.

If we are honest, being a loser has little to do with sexual proclivities and a lot to do with lack of achievement. From what I can gather, Quentin Tarantino likes women's feet and sucking toes. I am quite good friends with an Investment Banker who pulls in nearly seven figures yearly, has every material want or need he could conceive, but he is a "raging fag" when he travels and lets his "bisexuality out of the bag" as he says. His play often leads to strippers wearing strap-ons and other fucked up nastiness that "losers" are typically humiliated for on the Interwebs.

Contrast these two with the guy who has a normal girlfriend and is "AlphaMale" through and through. He drinks beer, humps his honey, works his job, and comes home to do it again (unless he hits the bar to hang with more real men.) Odd at the bar they sound the same. The boss is an ass. The girl's a bitch. Even the beer is expensive. Shit sucks. The world's going to hell. But it's someone else's fault. Fuck it, not their problem. Masters of their own universe.

What about the girl over there? The one with nearly as many kids as boyfriends. Guess what. She absolutely loves huge dick and she'll tell you all about it if you want to pay to hear. Or if you send a pair of fuck me heels off her list. You know you want to pay to dress her up so she can get more of what she loves when boyfriend number 4 comes home from the gas station and bangs her senseless. Don't worry about the kids or her apparent drug problem. She has a plan for that. Some loser from Indiana is going to send a Western Union later and she can get the kids food and another 8ball. Right now she only wants some new heels, a rabbit, and another box of magnums (not that she seems smart enough to make him use them).

And on goes the silly delusion when it comes to who is and isn't a loser. In the real world, most people are losers.  Most people don't work the jobs the want and lead the life they desire.  They keep goals in the back of their head and never make an effort to achieve anything better.  They prefer to spend the day chanting the loser mantra

I hate.... ___________ (my job, wife, boyfriend, life, house, family, finances, car, etc... )

You might even hear a few non-losers chant from time to time. But there is one huge fucking difference between the two. One fixes the problem and moves on and the other keeps chanting and waiting and hoping. Non-losers take responsibility and get shit done. Losers hope the government or a friend or a new relationship will save them. There is too much stress and pain for them to do it alone. If you say otherwise you don't understand because it's different for them and everyone else had it easy. Uh-huh. In that instance a mirror is all that's necessary to see a loser.

Anyone with intellectual integrity knows that loser has more to do with personal characteristics and achievement than in how one gets their rocks off. Saying your man isn't a loser because his huge cock excuses smoking pot all day while playing WoW is an amusing rationalization. I get a killer chuckle as you explain his "disability" and dismiss every failure with a well rehearsed explanation.

Yep. The D or the s. Not at all relevant in the reality of loser. Whether you punch or like being punched you have an equal probability of being a fucked up worthless piece of donkey shit loser. (Oh fuck, a sub can string together mean nasty zingers too? Wonders never cease.)

Ok ok ok ok.....

I AM RIGHT.

100%

Everything above is spot on.

But.........

I have to admit...

Sometimes us freaks like lies.

The verbal beatdown can be hot despite lacking accuracy. Just like the little lies you tell to set up the rest of the scene. I know the shit is fantasy a grip of the time. And the words are only another tool. Getting hung up on loser, fag, bitch, or whatever insult is hurled is as stupid as getting hung up on the rope, the gag or the toenail polish. They are all part of the whole, but the words don't define me any more than the crop and restraint do. I generally believe women take words more to heart than guys and most of us are pretty adept at ignoring the "effects" that many women might feel when hearing the same things. Knowing myself, and being someone who has called close friends "fag, dick, shithead, cocksucker, bitch, pussy, homo..." and any number of other things, I find it effortless to dismiss those things when they are hurled at me in a scene.

The word loser might get grip of play as the opinions are varied but if a boy knows himself he should be more than capable of ignoring random insults hurled at him by unknown individuals and embellished online personas. Personally I get a kick out of those who think they can hurt me with lies and falsehoods that I know untrue. The only chance in hell anyone has of hurting me with verbal shit is if they attack me from a position of knowledge and I actually respect their opinion. An individual would have to know where my real shortcomings and flaws lied and then be someone I cared enough about to give a fuck what they thought in the first place. Some might be able co convince me they were echoing the sentiments of someone I held in that esteem but third party insults are a much harder sell.
The callous is present reminder of mistakes I refuse to abandon.  For some unintelligible reason I cannot see myself without my issues and so I am unprepared to surrender them even knowing I would be better without.  I choose to explore my addictions, to indulge my fantasy, to grossly mishandle the objects I could easily stroke and control should I decide it more ideal.  But sick, I like my pain.  I have come to convince myself happy is the delusion of the bland.  Those without black in their life are missing the compendium of experiences and emotions that I feel on a given day, and while no one truly wants to feel the unyielding pressure straddled across their shoulders in quite the way I feel it now, I feel almost sad for those who do not experience enough hurt to realize the blessing they enjoy in living life without.  

I will spend another morn and night here nursing on the poison that is my rot.  I swallow and feel the burn as the cold metallic taste lines my mouth and insures me once more I am not yet dead.  Rather I am the scarred and disheveled remains of what once was called potential and now has succumbed to mediocrity.  I find average wholly unfulfilling and I contemplate alternatives.  Success and turning around would necessitate a terrible amount of effort and ceasing to give a fuck altogether is a bit to macabre even for my nihilism.  

So line me up another of that while I pack a little of this and gulp a bit of those.  If I can't escape the banality of this sick I can at least medicate the delusions I present myself so I am overwhelmed by my own incoherent and none of it really makes much difference regardless.  
My path twists and turns and I gaze the lever easily reached that would grant my release.  Yet I continue on my journey and ignore contemplation of escape.  I debate whether madness or mania is the force that propels me or if I am bastardized by something more malignant.  The challenges I force upon myself provide a self edifying hell that I enjoy with an odd depravity.  But my mind cannot elude the knowledge it is more unnatural to understand and enjoy than to find comfort in ugly when ignorant.  Am I observer or addict?  Traveler or prisoner?  Independent or obsessed?  I have no answer and I have been steadfast in ignoring the query. But a time comes for every question to be answered.  And so I must acquiesce to the seduction of the syringe I plunged deep into myself, or find fate in freedom from it... but the decision isn't made easily, and the ramifications are far more than mine.